


Jaime Discovers the Warrior Princess

by AlynnaStrong



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, International Fanworks Day 2019, Meddling Bronn, Pre-Relationship, jealous jaime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 03:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17800085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlynnaStrong/pseuds/AlynnaStrong
Summary: Jaime’s housemate Bronn tries to break him out of a self-pity spiral by introducing him to his favorite cult classic show.  It gives Jaime ideas.





	Jaime Discovers the Warrior Princess

**Author's Note:**

> Written for International Fanworks Day 2019 - theme: Characters discovering new fandoms.

“Oh for fook’s sake,” Bronn moaned on seeing his housemate gloomily surfing the web. “I told you, you’ve got to leave it alone. Opinions are like assholes; everyone’s got one, and they’re all full of shit.”

“Easy for you to say,” Jaime growled.

“Well, I suppose I’ve never been kicked off a football team since I was never daft enough to join one, and never suspended from university since I had no rich dad to pay for it, but sure don’t let me interrupt your little pity party.”

Jaime shook his head at the online chatter. “No one believes me about what he was planning to do.” True, he hadn’t really managed to give a coherent account of Aerys’ plan to firebomb their rivals’ locker room. After seeing the bombs in his bags, Jaime had taken immediate action. He only meant to scare Aerys, not incapacitate him, but one blow had led to another, and the next thing he knew their teammates were pulling them apart. One of them must have vanished with Aerys’ devices so Jaime could point to no evidence to bolster his case.

The tribunal had met for less than a hour before delivering his fate. Permanently banned from sports; suspended for a year; restraining order keeping him away from Aerys, not to mention the resentment of the entire school for costing them a winning season at their most treasured sport. Only a few of his friends even bothered to visit him at his new off campus apartment: Tyrion, Loras (to rub in that he was taking his place), ever loyal Brienne…

“Right, you sulky twat. I know something we can watch that will hold your attention at least.” Bronn called up the streaming services and poked around until he found what he wanted. “There.”

The title screen for Xena: Warrior Princess took over Jaime’s huge, flat screen TV. He scoffed, “This? Isn’t it nothing but camp and meaningless combat?”

“Hush. The fightin’ is about to start.”

For the first couple of hours, Jaime would do nothing but spit cutting japes about the quality of the special effects and anachronistic dialogue. However, the combat scenes and short leather skirts eventually worked their magic, as Bronn knew they would, and Jaime’s protests faded away. The housemates broke out the beer and chips and settled in for a proper binge.

A few hours further into the marathon, Jaime narrowed his eyes and said, “You know, Brienne could really pull off that outfit. She’s already got the muscles and the height. She’d just need a black wig and the costume. I don’t think she’s planning to go to the Valentine’s Day costume ball, but a match that perfect might tempt her.”

Bronn took a pull of his beer and nodded sagely. “Yeah, and that little gal pal of hers, Sansa, could go as Gabrielle. Long red hair, annoyingly chatty; she’s basically got it covered already. Maybe she’ll finally get the guts to put her brand on the big heifer. She’s wanted to for long enough.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Jaime sputtered. “Brienne can’t date a Stark! That much dutiful dourness in one place would spell the end to any of our fun. She’d do better with someone who doesn’t take the world too seriously.”

“Oh, like your brother?” Bronn asked with a twist to his mouth. “He’d make a powerful ugly Gabrielle though.”

“Well, no, that’s not what I meant either. Brienne’s clever, don’t get me wrong, but she not good enough with words to keep up with Tyrion. When she gets frustrated, she gives her verbal sparring partner a good shove – as I can well testify. I would hate to see my brother smashed through any walls.”

“Hmm,” Bronn considered again, “the Sand girl might be amenable. It’s not really her style, but she’ll do anything to get laid and she does love blondes.”

“Are you intentionally trying to piss me off?” Jaime demanded.

“Who me?” Bronn asked, a little too innocently.

“She doesn’t even know her. Brienne’s prickly. She needs someone who understands her and knows how nervous she’ll be at a dance in the first place. Someone she trusts not to abandon her or set her up for anything cruel.”

“Sounds like a job for a best friend,” Bronn shrugged.

Jaime’s face fell, and he shook his head. “Not me. She deserves so much better than me.”

“So help me…” Bronn balled his fist, but Jaime had agreed to pay the rent, utilities, and groceries for the rest of the year. “Hey Shit-for-brains, have we even been watching the same show? Now me, I’m mostly here for the swordfights and lesbian subtext, but I figured an educated gent like yourself might have noticed that the whole fookin' thing is about redemption. A vicious warlord decides that even if she can’t undo her past, she can do good from then on. Pretty soon, a sweet gal is following her around and hanging on her every word. Learn something! And if you’ve got such a fook-thorn for that big… lady, go get her.”

Jaime’s face went through several different emotions before finally settling on relief. He stood up and started for his bedroom, not wanting Bronn to see how many tries it would take him to finish a text to Brienne. “I’ll do it,” he said, “but if I've got to wear a skirt, I’m using your razor to shave my legs.”

“Feel free,” Bronn called merrily at his retreating form. “It’s as dull as a butter knife, you silly wanker,” he muttered, settling back to watch Xena and Gabrielle have a double-entendre filled conversation in the bath.

 


End file.
